My only brother (younger than I) flew over on the 4th. That was his wish. Peace be with you. He was never mean. 7 Meaningful Examples of Thank You Notes for Funeral Flowers. You have started an awesome blog that has helped so many through the dying process of themselves, or loved one(s). And so we help each other and help ourselves. Thank you so much for this site. Anyone else? For Hospice, I have learned only after they both passed, how helpful they are for the sick, the family, and in my case someone who never had the ill relative use the hospice. I dont know maybe I should have asked his parents or siblings or our children to be with us but I believe it would have made his suffering more acute and selfishly I wanted to be with him just us. By being fine I guess you mean his vitals returned to normal, since of course final stage dementia means never being fine again. There are swabs that are used on the lips and tongue to keep them moist and keep the sensation of thirst away. We delayed calling hospice that summer hoping, anticipating, praying, thinking maybe there was a chance. But you could tell he was angry. Wouldnt your mother have told you to do that, if she had been able to? But, if never been are an elderly person who may be at the end. It was a priviledge. Id be lieing if I didnt say I was crying right now. And poisoning yourself is frankly a very bad idea. She has been in hospice for almost two weeks now. I will try to encourage her daughters to call for hospice care when the time is right, to ease everyone through this passage. It was very peaceful however, and I am happy she got to die in my bed as she wanted. He was 96 at the time one week before she passed she was talking and seeing many people that i could not see or hear- she seemed comforted by them- entertained and not afraid of them. We have all said our goodbyes. Now, the fact that I can no longer even give her that breaks my heart. My compassion and love for her enabled me to pray for her to return to God, allowing her to finally be at rest. I tried to bring her back, but she didnt want to live in pain. How was it that she was fine and responsive and eating last night and now shes dead? If it is just nonstop talking, she may be working thru some things, albeit out loud. That morning dad said she was fine until the end. at this very moment i am sitting next to her bed. The hospice doctor(s) have been wonderful telling us that they are unsure how long. It is not a good idea to ask the patient any questions that need to be answered. Perhaps it was the pain, the transition, the complexity of it all, Im not sure. Further treatment was not an option. And then, even though she was alert, she seemed to get confused when I tried to get her to answer yes or no questions (with a shake of her head, since she cant speak). Mom was a little tired, but that was to be expected. On the morning of his death a hospice nurse had come for a regular visit and to evaluate his pain level. I am with my 83 year old mom now as she is breathing her last breaths. They did not come in every night but twice a week just so Mum was able to have some sleep. Its mission statement suggests it should be a good place to begin reading about this topic: Duke Institute on Care at the End of Life, My Mothers Last Three Days | Havealittletalk's Blog, http://li99-212.members.linode.com/node/4631, [GET] [PROOF INSIDE] AMAZING CASE STUDY REVEALS HOT TO MAKE $191.45 DOLLARS PER DAY! He told us they think I am crazy why did they do this to him? She has sleep apnea and sleeps with a CPAC at night. Personally, my own beliefs in my own faith helped very much. It was the first thing she had ever done in her life that she didnt turn into a huge production. It is also a spiritual one, and if the medical system isnt set up to deal with you, could you perhaps go to a temple or maybe a Buddhist convent and tell the nuns that you want to harm yourself and you need a quiet and safe place, that you need someone to care for you, until your mind calms? Take care. On Wednesday Dad was still with us but his breathing was more shallow. My brothers and sister talked, laughed and cried together in those final days. The rattle started as did the apnea but then it went back to normal for a few days. Everyone really is different and congestive heart failure is indeed the hardest to predict. Through this program the daycare is paid for and the aide to come and get her ready for daycare. He had few symptoms other than tiredness, and even that was not noticeable because his pain reduced to such a degree that his activity level doubled. At the moment of death, breathing stops and theres no pulse or measurable blood pressure. She never acknowledged anyone for several days. My ideal is that she just goes of to sleep. My father looked concerned when they put the pump in, but he was so pleased my mum was ok. It is so hidden really, there must be a hundred accounts of the death of a pet for every one about the death of a person. or if you want to say; I know in Canada at least in the province I am in, I begin to wonder if there is an unofficial agism in place; I say this, because I found out last fall when my father was still relatively ok, but had been diagnosed with cancer, that once a patient is stable they will push the patient to a care facility or home, or they will start charging a considerably large per day rate. They were doing this with another gentleman in my dads four bed room. Death cannot take those gifts from you. I came across this blog in the lead up to my Mums passing, despite having witnessed the dying process before I was still looking for answers, a timetable so to speak for the process there is not one. She surprised everyone then when a few days later she was found trying to get out of bed. Although my dad stayed where he was and stared at her. health- care professionals. I second guess whether I could have done more if my CPR technique had been more precise (my thoughts? And to everyone elses stories i am sorry for your looses and thank you for sharing your stories as sad as they where. The other day, she wanted to call her mother and dad (my grandparents) so they would know where she was at and wouldnt be worried. I have been with her 3 days stright now, i watched my best friends dad die 29 December 2011, he had the death rattle but was in a coma when she had it, my mum is awake but has the death rattle so im confussed, she is on oxygen 24/7 in alot of pain, drifts in and out of sleep ( but is on alot of morphine) can still talk a little. Its all very confusing and exhausting. His blood pressure would no longer register at all when taken with a wrist cuff, and they were giving him liquid oxycodone every ten minutes to try to control the pain as well as ease the breathing. It is so sad that your sister cannot communicate her wishes. I often think of a line from a Bob Dylan song: May you always do for others and let others do for you. I think we all get the first part, but that second part is really important too. She loved her life, and those closest to her, and in spite of declining health she never complained about her situation. My efforts fo CPR and the medics effort was non successful. acronyms, and other terminology for instructions and information in regard to a And she slept a lot. I reassure her I am still there, that she is not alone. The hospice nurse just told us that my sister has probably less than a week left. The next day the nurse confirmed he as deteriorated. We took his precious grand daughters to see him on what turned out to be the last day that he was completley our dad, the deterioration after that was so fast! I lost him a year ago and lost is the right word as I feel like he was suddenly kidnapped and I truly simply lost him. Totally normal most of the timeBUT, once I really paid attention, A conscious dying person can know if they are on the verge of dying. We put our hands on his arms and legs to assure him of our presence, which he seemed to find annoying, and would brush us off or grunt. Patients who are actively dying experience various end-of-life signs and symptoms. Signs of Approaching Death with Dementia BK Books for nausea. She had never been sick at all before the spell she had in February. Everything was under control. There was a flurry of activity, and when the emergency nurse finally said, relieved, that the oxy sat levels were stabilizing, I literally moved the person out of my way to see what it was. I remember the hospice nurses saying it was a priviledge to be with someone when they died and God allow us to pick who will be with us at the time of our death. The chemo stopped working and in April 2012 Dad was admitted to Countess Mountbatten Hospice. This site is a wonderful resource of information and consolation. Since January, I have been helping her with her daily tasks, but at the same time, slowly watching her deteriorate. He is a type two diabetic and he has a pacemaker and a weak heart. Its my journey. So. There is a rainbow after the rain. I have to say I never seen that ever in my life. You will miss her forever, but that is okay. But if it is too hard for them, I can wait until my children and husband are all ready to let me go. Europe? I used to try to get answers or bring it to someones attention if only so that maybe they wouldnt be careless about someone else, and never, not once, did I ever get even an acknowledgment that things could have been done better, let alone an apology. The nurse commented that she seemed at peace, wasnt fighting the process, and she thought there were hours or days left, not longer. An experienced hospice worker said that, in her experience, shortly before death, the dying person will open his or her eyes, and look up, and then to the right. Why not give him IV fluids if they thought he would survive? This will relieve any dryness or irritation in the mouth, improve urine output, improve digestive functions, and relieve. I stayed with my father and saw him breathe out and in very hard. (I have also heard that aversion to physical touch is not uncommon the person is no longer connected to their physical body and no longer wants to be.) He is now withdrawn, barely talks to us when we are there, sleeps most of the day and can be mean at times. It made me smile. She has had to have a catheter inserted and I cannot even allow her to get up to poo. I know she does not want to live like this. Me: Because your legs dont work anymore and your heart is failing and isnt pumping well. I appreciate everyone sharing their experiences here. I assured her that my mother (her daughter) would be well and that Grandma could rest easy now. Im sure having a cancer diagnosis is much different than the process my mom went through. They didnt give us a time for mom. Understanding what happens throughout this process can assist everyone involved in better preparing for this transition and each stage of death. On her admission to the hospice we were told her cancer had spread at an alarming rate. He seems to enjoy the ipod we have in his room. again due to incorrect use of the hoist. Hi One persons story, My mother did the same exact thing when she passed away on Jan 19. She had had the rattle for a couple days. She is a medical doctor (MD) and has a Master of Business Administration degree. Cardiac failure is a two headed beast. year-old roommate realized that he had passed, he said tearfully I think that would be a beautiful way to go..

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